Break it down (Bad day)
It is now 2.37am. I can't sleep. By right, I should be able to. I worked a full shift today, braved through a crowded supermarket and took the train home. I should be tired but somehow, I am very much awake. I should do this, I should do that. I should be many things, but I am not. I feel very frustrated because there is no one to listen to me rant, no one I can share my thoughts with. In the adversity of pressure, I can feel my brain shutting down. Not wanting to care about a single thing in the world, it's as if I am a machine that is old and weary. Recently, thoughts of suicide came back to me. No one knows. I am still putting a smile on my face as a mask to hide my true feelings. There is this small diminished voice in my head that will say "nobody cares about you. Shut up. You are alone, face it. You think people are nice to you? They are just being polite...etc." I don't know why am I like this. I am not normal. I know I am lost. Lost in this world, lo